My Son Has an Addiction

Physical signs of drug abuse include:

• Frequent bloodshot eyes or pupils that are smaller or larger than they normally are.
• Frequent nosebleeds, which can be a sign of cocaine or meth use due to snorting these drugs.
• Altered appetite, such as periods of no appetite that alternate with periods of increased appetite.
• Frequent bruises or other injuries that cannot be unexplained. These are often due to problems with coordination while under the influence.
• Incoherent speech, jitteriness, or tremors.
• Breath that smells like alcohol.
• Drug paraphernalia in their room or backpack.
• Paint stains on the mouth due to huffing paint.
• Burns around the mouth or on the fingers due to smoking drugs.
• Track marks from injecting drugs.

Many of these signs are very telling and should suggest that your son is using drugs or alcohol. If you notice that your son is displaying several of these signs, you should be even more concerned.

Some of the emotional signs of drug abuse include:

• Uncharacteristic and unexplained changes in attitude.
• Sudden mood swings, such as outbursts of anger, irritability, or uncontrolled laughing.
• Periods of hyperactivity or agitation that alternate with periods of lethargy and/or apathy.
• Anxiety or suspiciousness that seems to have no apparent explanation.
• Uncharacteristic dishonesty.
• Unusual loss of motivation and problems with focus.
• A loss of interest in activities that were previously enjoyed.

Remember that growing up is difficult. Many of these signs on their own do not imply that your son is abusing alcohol or drugs. But if you notice a few of these signs in conjunction with some of the physical signs listed above, your son may be abusing drugs or alcohol.

Some social changes that may suggest drug abuse include:

• An explained drop in grades or issues with truancy.
• Loss of interest in social activities.
• A change in friends or hobbies.
• Becoming withdrawn and isolated.
• Suspicious or even sneaky behaviors.
• Stealing or unusual requests for money.
• Complaints from teachers, coworkers, or friends about unusual behaviors.

Often parents become suspicious that their son is using drugs because of his friends or social acquaintances. Again, this factor can’t be judged on its own. Consider signs from all three domains above to assess the situation.

• Keep the tone calm. Being confrontational, calling him names, or accusing him will most likely result in anger instead of cooperation.
• Ask questions and express concern. Really listen to what he has to say. He may clam up, but if he’s talking, make sure you hear him.
• If your son denies he is using, don’t get angry. Instead, point out the facts about his behavior that have aroused suspicion. Avoid emotional commentary, and stick to the facts.
• Don’t aim to embarrass your son. Don’t start the conversation in front of his friends. Wait until you’re alone with him. He needs to feel safe.
• Recruit help. Sometimes a formal intervention (discussed below) is appropriate. Even if you don’t opt for this route, there is strength in numbers. It can help to have a therapist, his mom, or other loved ones present.
• Be prepared for multiple conversations. It’s rare that this conversation only happens once. Getting your son the help he needs will likely involve multiple attempts on your part. The key is to get the ball rolling and open up the line of dialogue.

• Discuss payment plans with treatment providers. Many rehabs offer financing options where the outstanding balance can be paid off over time.
• Begin a crowdfunding program. Talk to your son first before doing this. He may not want information on his situation shared with others, even if it helps to fund treatment.
• Consider treatment programs that offer discounted care. Many universities that have mental health programs, like psychiatry programs or graduate psychology programs, offer therapy and other forms of treatment on a sliding scale based on income level.
• Use credit cards. If going this route, make sure you are using a card with a relatively low interest rate.