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Loved Ones of Addicts Need Help Too
Addiction affects everyone in its path. It’s a family disease, with research showing families of addicts are emotionally, physically, and financially impacted by a loved one’s drug and alcohol abuse. Families play important roles in the development, sustentation, and treatment of substance use disorders. Addiction and recovery involve everyone, not just the substance abuser. Families and friends impacted by addiction must go through their own version of recovery. Research finds that by providing families of addicts with support, they’re less likely to experience detrimental effects of their loved one’s addiction. Family involvement in treatment can also improve addiction and recovery outcomes for the addict. While it’s clear that the addicted person needs help and support to recover, family, loved ones, and friends can benefit from support and help as well.
Family members and friends of addicts experience their own stressors and pain. Sometimes it can look like a type of addiction itself as they become consumed with the addicted person’s well-being, whereabouts, and use of alcohol and other drugs. Families of addicts may also experience a “withdrawal” of their own searching for normalcy and stability once their loved one begins addiction recovery. Drug and alcohol addiction can create chaos in the family system, highlighting the need for support for all family members.
Examples of how friends and families of addicted people struggle alongside their loved ones:
Families affected by addiction can suffer detrimental effects to their mental and physical health. It can be easy for self-care to fall by the wayside when you’re so focused on what your addicted loved one is doing. You worry about their safety and health, and you may be preoccupied with the behaviors that are impacting you and other family members. Loss of sleep, lack of exercise and proper nutrition, and excessive stress takes its toll. You may experience anxiety and depression symptoms. The best thing families of addicts can do for their loved one is to take care of themselves. You’re no help to your loved one if you’re depleted and unhealthy.
Things you should do if your loved one is struggling with alcohol or drug addiction:
1. Go to therapy – There are so many complex emotions in families of addicts. You may feel anger, sadness, guilt, and shame, just to name a few. Consider mental health treatment for yourself. A therapist can help you:
2. Practice self-care – Make sure you’re doing the things that protect your physical and mental health, like:
3. Hold healthy boundaries – A common saying in support groups for families of addicts is, “Detach with love.” Some of your behaviors may feel like you’re helping your loved one, but they may be keeping them stuck in their addiction, taking away the motivation to get the drug or alcohol treatment they need. Examples of healthy boundaries include:
4. Accept what you can and can’t do – You can support your loved one in healthy ways, you can encourage them to get substance abuse treatment, but you can’t do the work for them. Letting go of the thought that if you just worked harder at making them get help, if you just made their life a little easier, they would get better is hard. Accepting that there are real limits to the impact you can have on your loved one’s addiction and recovery and letting go can help take some of the emotional burden off your back. A therapist can help with this process.
5. Attend support groups for families of addicts– Hearing from and sharing with others going through similar struggles can be a transformative experience. It can help with the isolation and shame that can plague families of addicts. Nar-Anon, SMART Recovery, and Al-Anon family programs are all good ones to attend.
There are several sources of support for families of addicts. Some of these include:
Most treatment programs offer family therapy or family programs, whether by group or individual sessions. Topics are often educational, as well as skills-based to help you apply the knowledge toward your own recovery process. Examples of some of the topics covered in family therapy groups include:
You don’t need to go it alone. Whether you are a spouse, child, friend, or sibling of someone who is struggling with addiction, there are resources for you.
Footprints to Recovery helps our clients and their loved ones recover from addiction and co-occurring mental illness. Most of our addiction recovery treatment programs include family therapy sessions, family groups, and family education on substance abuse and mental health issues. We offer many levels of care including:
If you have a loved one struggling with addiction, call us for a free, confidential phone consultation. We’ll figure this out together.
Our admissions team is available 24/7 to listen to your story and help you get started with the next steps.