To know a loved one is suffering from substance abuse but you’re unsure how to help can create a sense of powerlessness, sitting by idly while their addiction consumes them.
Drugs and alcohol have become their sole focus, and they’re in denial about having a problem. All attempts to communicate or get through to them one-to-one — either by you or others — have fallen on deaf ears, and you feel them slipping away to the throes of a disease. In these moments, when someone you care about is avoidant or addicted has created an unspoken barrier to reaching them, staging an addiction intervention can be the wake-up call a person needs to seek addiction treatment.
According to the Association of Intervention Specialists, interventions have an 80% to 90% success rate, with eight to 10 people seeking treatment after their family and loved ones make an effort to intervene.
A formal intervention for a family member should be handled with the sensitivity, compassion, and empathy all parties deserve. Here are some tips on how to hold an intervention successfully.
What Is an Intervention?
An addiction intervention is a carefully planned, coordinated opportunity to gather family and friends in one place, with everyone present, to face the person and address their substance abuse.
In an intervention for a loved one:
- Each participant, like a group therapy session, takes turns to express the negative impacts of the person’s addictive and destructive behaviors.
- The group aims to get the person to agree to seek alcohol addiction treatment.
- It’s established what each person in the group will do if their loved one refuses treatment.
Remember that the intervention process should be, first and foremost, a direct conversation, not a confrontation. It is not designed to point fingers or blame the person struggling with drug and alcohol addiction but instead to hold everyone accountable, not just the subject of the alcohol intervention. Participants are welcome to recount a time when they either enabled or let down the individual with the addiction — to give any powerful testimony that improves the chances of getting the person to listen, open up, be heard themselves, and agree to an addiction treatment plan.
How Does an Intervention Happen?
Staging an intervention for a friend or someone close to you can become a pivotal moment in their journey to drug and alcohol addiction recovery when it follows close planning and structure. Approach the process in phases:
Create the Intervention Group
Experts recommend forming a planning group to hold a formal intervention. Who is close to the individual and would be willing to participate? Choosing people who will keep the conversation high-level, focused, and productive instead of emotional or accusatory is important. Experts recommend employing the services of a counselor, social worker, or addiction professional to help organize your intervention.
Intervention Rehearsal
Before the intervention for a loved one, it’s a good idea to get the intervention team to meet beforehand and plan which order everyone will speak and rehearse what will be said. While an alcohol intervention allows for spontaneous dialogue, each group member should come prepared with a statement to share during the meeting.
The Intervention
Reality TV has reinforced the overdramatized stereotype of the intervention process as an opportunity to ambush a person about their substance abuse. Agree as a group to keep the environment calm and safe for everyone. Staging an intervention for a friend should occur in a private, neutral location. As mentioned before, by creating a safe, compassionate space, with each person taking turns to speak, you work together to show the person your support versus making them feel ganged up on.
Presenting an Addiction Treatment Plan
Are you planning an alcohol addiction intervention? A drug addiction intervention? The treatment plan(s) the group may propose for your loved one depends on the nature of their substance use and the severity of their dependency or drug and alcohol addiction. While nothing is set in stone (the intervention should ask the individual what they’re most comfortable with), the group should come with realistic goals in mind. Is the plan to get them into outpatient rehab or drug and alcohol detox? Is it to reduce their substance usage or quit altogether? Relapse prevention? Do they have a co-occurring disorder?
Following Up
By the end of a heroin addiction intervention or opioid addiction intervention, emotions will be starkly raw, vulnerabilities unguarded even with a successful outcome. It marks square one for the person’s road to recovery and sober journey. It would be remiss to end here, which makes following through so important. Decide beforehand on a group volunteer — a parent, significant other, spouse, sibling, or friend — to ensure the person enters treatment, help them find a facility or therapist, and even accompany them for moral support. For family members living with the individual, agree to accommodate them at home if a change in living patterns is needed to facilitate getting sober.
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Tips for a Successful Intervention
Emotions can run high at an addiction intervention — in essence, you’re laying bare another person’s addictions and getting them to come clean about getting clean, so there is always the risk of some defensiveness, anger, or hostility, not only from the person the intervention is being held for but from members of the intervention group. Here are some tips for a smooth, successful intervention:
Plan Ahead
Your loved one’s health and sobriety are at stake, so preparation is key to a successful addiction intervention. Make sure everyone knows their role and the messages needing conveying. This is about their drug and alcohol addiction, not the place for others in the group to express anger or shame or to lash out at anyone. Most importantly, having the treatment plan ready — whether it’s for an alcohol addiction intervention or drug addiction intervention — shows the person that you placed thought, care, and consideration into their needs.
Speak With Compassion
Approach the entire intervention conversation holistically with an empathic, compassionate tone. In your intervention letter, be mindful of what you say, and avoid blaming or shaming the person, as this can trigger defensiveness. Know that struggling with addiction is a disease — not something anyone should be condemned or castigated for. Instead of saying, “You’re ruining your life with those drugs,” rephrase it to, “I’m really worried about you, and I want to see you healthy and happy.”
Maintain a Focus
When making your statement, share specific examples of how their addiction affects you and others. Don’t fabricate or exaggerate; sticking with factual events makes the conversation more credible, tangible, and challenging to dismiss. Here’s an example: “Last month, you missed our family dinner because of your drinking, and it made me feel really sad and worried about you.”
Avoid Using Ultimatums or Lashing Out
Suppose the person’s addiction has been the source of estrangement, created rifts between loved ones, or damaged relationships. In that case, it may be tempting to issue an ultimatum, i.e., “If you don’t go to alcohol rehab and quit drinking, I’m done with you.” When you hold an intervention, “Do this, or else” type of language will only push the person further away. Put yourself in their shoes and think about the supportive language you’d like to hear. Concentrate solely on offering support and guidance to bolster their motivation to get sober.
Consider Professional Help
Think about employing a professional substance abuse interventionist if uncertainty about staging an intervention on your own persists. A Certified Intervention Specialist, or CIS, may be invaluable. They can choose the format and venue for the intervention, outline the structure, take charge of the planning process, and take the lead of the intervention, making sure no mistakes are made and that it stands a higher chance of succeeding.
A professional interventionist is also skilled at de-escalating any possible high-tension moments, from ad hominem attacks to conflicts between participants. Trained to manage these situations calmly and effectively, they can make sure the intervention doesn’t spiral out of control and stays on the topic of getting your loved one the help they need.
What If Someone Resists Getting Help?
Not every addiction intervention is a success — at least not immediately. Sometimes, the person may refuse to accept that they need help like drug and alcohol detox, even when everyone has the best intentions.
If this happens, this doesn’t mean that staging an intervention was a failure; far from it. Alcohol and drug addiction is a medical disorder affecting the brain, so it’s important not to lose hope or give up on your friend, family member, or loved one. Keep some of these tips in mind:
Maintain Your Support
The best thing you can do is stay supportive and let them know you’re always there for them if they rebuff a treatment plan. Putting someone on the spot and expecting them to decide at that moment defeats the supportive purpose of an intervention, so they may just need time to process everything before they’re ready to seek help. In the meantime, be patient and continue to express concern.
Continue Setting Boundaries
Rejection of a proposed addiction treatment plan is not an opportunity for the person to return to their former ways once boundaries have been established at an addiction intervention. If you live with the person or associate closely with them, and their behavior stemming from substance abuse negatively affects your life and those around you, make it clear what you won’t tolerate until they seek alcohol addiction treatment — this could include enabling behaviors like allowing them to live with you while they’re still actively using.
Consider a Follow-Up Intervention
Take what was learned from the first intervention and think about another one sometime in the near future. Sometimes, it takes more than one attempt for someone to accept — they must want to actively make a change in their life. Remember that if a loved one’s substance abuse is putting their or others’ safety or health at risk, seek guidance from intervention professionals.
Help with Interventions at Footprints to Recovery
Taking steps to hold an intervention for someone you care about struggling with substance abuse takes courage, confidence, compassion, and caring — to understand addiction and bring a loved one’s substance abuse issues to the forefront, a first step to relapse prevention and breaking their cycle of addiction.
Contact us today if you’re thinking about staging an intervention for a family member, spouse, partner, sibling, friend, colleague, or loved one. We can help you facilitate an intervention and find a treatment provider, enabling them to take steps down the road to recovery from drugs and alcohol.
